Morning bus aircon

after years of faithfully taken the so called ' world class' transport, i came up with a theory which generally describe the temperature of the aircon buses:

The temperature of the aircon is proportional to the temperature outside the bus

have you ever feel the full blast of the aircon in the cold morning?
or sometimes you wish that you can open the windows in the aircon bus in a hot afternoon?

well, so have i!!!

sometimes, i wonder what's the purpose of the aircon in some of the buses or is the drivers trying of help SBS and SMRT to save money. imagine it's already cold in the wee morning and yet the bloody drivers blast the aircon to the max trying to make snow in the bus...
but they dun seem to do so when it comes to the hot afternoon. the aircon temp will be like highest [aka fan] and there are times i really wish to open the windows to have some ventilation. it really gets bad when the bus is crowded and i remember sweating in an aircon bus. hmmm, maybe can't really blame the driver cause they got so used to it that they themselves dun really realised or feel it. so the best is to take train... at least the temp is constant

idiots in trishaw

hmmm, something just sets me thinking when i was at bugis recently...
i saw a bunch of japanese in trishaws. you might wonder what's the big deal but the thing is, who the hell takes a ride in a trishaw in singapore??? yah, except tourists... bunch of idiots

1] imagine sitting in a trishaw in the noon day sun... i know japanese likes sauna but i think it's a bit extreme as there's no overhead cover and it's bloody hot like f$%k and they're in long sleeves... [salute]

2] the bloody riders think the whole freaking road are theirs, they anyhow cut into the vehicle lanes, tourist living dangerously in the hands of the riders... sad but true...

3] this is the best reason why you should not be in a trishaw:
side by side with the vehicles. lagi best, i saw one beside a lorry... breathing in all the exhaust... how exciting...

i say: welcome to singapore, it's not a freaking 3rd world country like mat-donesia... take the duck tours instead...

The hanging of the Oz drug courier

i think that it's a simple case of drug smuggling that was politicised. The reasons can varies from simply trying to save his life thru all means to balliticians giving oneself more exposure, trying to be mr righteous. Luckily, the Oz are not gonna have elections soon if not the balliticians will make even bigger hoohaa.

isn't the message about drug penalty clear? However, many still take the risk to do so even it's well publicised that once caught, you definitely be hang. they dun think of the severity of the situation and start to cry about the laws being harsh/infringes human rights shit when caught, which is too late. To me, it's simple, you bear the consequences of your actions.

anyway, s'pore gives no shit to any of the countries who plead even when the situation boils over like in the philippines ' contemplacion' maid hanging case or even the michael fray US brat. when the issue becomes politicised, the issue is not only about drugs and hanging any more but more importantly, about a country's sovereignty.

S'pore and our leaders will in my eyes, lose it's ability to lead it's countrymen should they formulate policies or even court judgement to deflect the outside pressure and lobbies instead for the better of us. A leader that is sway by pressure sets a bad precedence for other country to follow suit and we'll be bullied. It's a point of no return once the judgement is set and the leaders will have to stand firm and withstand the onslaught of criticism and scrutinity but this shows that our leaders are fair and not afraid to be scrutinised by all.

from this issue, i've admired the way Oz PM howard handles the case. he managed to balance his country's pressure with reality knowing that if it gets blown out of proportion, it'll be a lose-lose situation for both. it shows the man's character in times like this cause if it happens to our neighbouring countries, many will out to score political brownie points.

well, mr chee soon juan deserves a mention too, not for siding the Oz for he's entitled to his opinion but for his behavour towards s'pore. it's too many a case of calling sour grapes from him that he got no more credibility left in him. how to be a respected opposition? look at chiam see tong or low thia kiang. you can critised the policy or gahment but the good of the country comes first and foremost.

to round it up, living in S'pore is very simple for foreigners and all. The laws and regulations are all clearly stated thou some are harsh while some are plain stupid. You can live your happy or miserable life, no police/gahment fellas will bother if you live it's within the parameters.
if you are not happy with it then fuck off to other countries that suits you best but while you are in it, do what the romans do.

amazing things i've learned from the army - part 2

this is continued from the first part where i realised that there's so much more to add and i'll add more along the way when inspirations hit me. so here it is: the amazing things i've learned from the army - part 2

rush to wait, wait to rush - self explanatory. for those pussies, it roughly means we rush only to realised that we got to wait and after waiting for a darn long time, we got to rush again because of the screw up in timing.

and talking about timing, in the army, nothing starts on time.

after you been thru army, you'll learn that you can sleep anywhere, anytime, any place if you're tired and only in the army that you'll learn how to sleep in standing position.

volunteer - a very sensitive word. if you volunteer and do it well, next time when the same project comes along again, you wouldn't even have to volunteer, you'll be arrowed. why? cause they'll say since you do before and did it well, it's better to be in your charge. if that's the case, why volunteer?

comfortable - defined as the state your boss is feeling towards you when you're handling HIS work/project. it's a double edged sword because he'll throw all the things for you to do as he knows that he can sit one corner and relax while you slog away. ppl whom he is uncomfortable with gets to relax too cause they wouldn't be involved in any work as he's afraid they'll screw up therefore, he can't relax. when the jobs done, forget about the credit... you've no share.

1206 - the dreaded 4 numbers that strike a big hole in your pockets because when you lost some stuffs, things cause at least 3 times as much in the army compared to the private sector. for example if you lost a spanner, never ever 1206 cause it'll be very much cheaper if you buy it yourself from DIY shop.

SFI and NTUC catered food in the army

this is actually extracted from my previous blog [amazing things i've learned from the army] cause one of my friends says it's too long. actually i dun give a shit about him cause it's my blog but then i realised there's alot of amazing things from the army that i've not add in. furthermore, the SFI have enough details to have a blog of its own.

SFI and NTUC are army food caterers for those not in the loop or pussies.

SFI and NTUC catered food that cost so much and taste like shit that if they opened a stall at food court they'll go bankrupt. yes, last time before the availabilty of catered food and army cooks still exits, food really taste worse than shit but now we're held ransom by the caterers and here's why: lunch cost at least $5.80 which consists of 1 meat and 2 vege, a soup, a fruit and a diluted-from-concentrate drink. if you buy from coffeeshop it'll only cost you less than $4 with a choice of canned drink... if you want aircon, eat from foodcourt and it cost less than $5. if the rental is subsidised like in polytechnic, the above cost less than $3... furthermore, SFI has constant customers [soldiers] everyday and they know the amount of ppl eating in advance so food wastage is reduced and if the food is indented and you dun eat, you got to pay for it using your own salary... now tell me where in the world got so good business??? it reminds me of NKF [recession proof]... imagine you own a stall at a coffeeshop and everyday you know you'll get min 500 ppl eating from you. there's no competition from other stalls and those who ordered from you and dun turn up, you'll still get to earn... if you got this lobang tell me, i'll quit my job and set up shop immediately... that's why SFI is earning millions every year with idiots like us. to me, it's like a form of money laundering by the gahment except it's done legally. here's why: money from the tax paying public is channeled to different budgets, like defence budget. out of the allocated def budget, a portion goes to the meal rations. SFI which is a GLC and without competition, charges the rations higher than what the markets are charging, therefore, profits earn from the rations goes to the GLC. in conclusion, tax payer's money becomes gahment's money which can be spent without accounting to the public...

here's another reason why if SFI were to setup shop at the foodcourt will go bankrupt: have you ever eaten packet [take away] ration from them? bah kut teh comes without the soup and bah kut without meat, full of bones... laksa without the chili-coconut soup base etc... furthermore, if you packet it or outrationed, it doesn't comes with soup, for drinks they give u one or two fruit concentrate [depends on how many ppl are eating, if less than 10 you drink your own saliva] which you mix yourself... yet they still charge you the same price... that's why ministers will not understand, when they come for army camp tour, food always taste good and presentable. for us, the vege are lumped together with meat and all the sauces are mixed together [like dogs]. ppl say why complain so much, food is much better now than last time yet still complain. this to me is a loser mentality. come on, we're spending tax payer's money and we deserved to be serve what they are CHARGING us. it's not as if they do it for free. it's also like the NKF mentality, yes the organisation is doing well, have lots of reserves, patients are well taken care off but that doesn't mean you can reward yourself to the point of being ridiculous like having 1 yr bonus right?

too many ppl have resigned to fate but dun create destiny with their own hands. these are the type of obedient singaporeans moulded by the education system, produced by the gahment.

Gahment and the Bonus

i can't help but find that there's a conspiracy between gahment and the allocation of bonus. what bonus you might be asking? it's the mid yr and the yr end bonus. what conspiracy you might be wondering? well...

the state of s'pore economy is dependent on the month the bonus is released

why is that so? have you ever read the papers?
the month before the bonus ie. in may or in nov, the gahment always say that the s'pore economy is not doing very well and the annual growth forecast is reduced so that in turns reduced our mid yr and yr end bonus. however, the s'pore economy seems to pick up right after the bonus month, in july or jan. the papers will quote some minister from some ministry saying that he's optimistic about the economy and that it have grown and even better compared to last yr. this yr, they have done it again and even all my colleagues have noticed.

now where's the rational from all this? you mean to tell me that s'pore economy is dependent on jun and dec only and that the trade and investment for this 2 months will affect the whole of the yr? come on, you can't be serious! therefore i can't help but feel that there's a conspiracy by the gahment to reduce our bonus.

Arrgg again... what the hell the meeting is for???

WTF, i reach the office at 3 for my boss to consolidate any issues to raise up at the big boss meeting at 4pm but guess what??? out of the 8, only half turn up on time. i tried to come later but was told to arrived on time so i rush by cab and this is wat happens... wat the hell man!!!
the following events is even better.

the big boss meeting at 4pm...
he didn't even turn up. fullstop.

we were told that he was caught up in another meeting
and the best thing is that we have to wait for him to finish his other meeting until 5pm. then, our greatest fears came true...
the meeting was POSTPONED TO TOMORROW MORNING...
what the fuck!!!!!! we were suppose to be on off tomorrow.
and we were call back unnesscessarily, again.
so out of this whole week which supposed to be my off days, i'm back on mon, tue afternoon, thurs afternoon and fri morning. what i've accomplished when i'm called back? nothing. not even a freaking single work is done. so much for productivity and efficiency. if i brought my harry potter along, i would have finished reading it using the time wasted in the office.

if everything is so darn important then nothing is.

Arrgg.. what the hell meeting is for???

this whole bloody week i'm suppose to be on off and guess what [no surprises]... i've been called back to work to attend meetings and talks given by the big boss... it's okay if it's productive and informative but come on, i guess you guys know that they are a total waste of time... meeting is actually an ego trip for the boss so that he knows he's actually working. they spent so much time talking and talking that nothing gets done and then? they start talking again about why nothing gets done. arrgggg...

the talk by big boss.
it's suppose to be a worthy and frank session whereby we raise our issues and unhappiness. it always end up and i mean ALWAYS back to square one. despite the issues we raise, he'll give an explaination and then stick back to the same ways. come on, we're trying to tell you your explanation sucks big time so change it. somehow, the boss dun get it. maybe uob should come out a credit card - the boss dun get it - for the bosses. furthermore, the issues raised, most were not fresh or new. they were a accumulation of last yr and before which were KIVed or not completed so why talk again??? trying to sooth your freaking ego that you actually hear from your employees?

amazing things i've learned from the army!!!

hey, since i'm quite bored at home, i shall write about the amazing things that i've learned from the army...

only in the army that you'll find so much variety of ppl that you'll be astounded and you'll start asking yourself that "WHAT!!! THIS TYPE OF PPL ACTUALLY EXISTS???". the reason that you can only meet them in the army is that in the working world, there's something called Job Interview... while the army just lumped everybody [dog, cat, mouse and shit] together...

intelligence has it's limits but stupidity knows no bound - banedon chan

the above sentence applies best to the army better than any place that i've known. there are ppl so stupid that even equipments that are "idiot proof" can't save them and i dun mean those who are spastic but ordinary ppl like you and i.

equipments that are specially build for army use even thou are very rugged but in the hands of a soldier will get spoiled easily. sometimes i wonder is it because of wear and tear or just plainly the lack of intelligence shown by the soldiers. they should build something called "soldier proof". it's a few grades higher than "idiot proof".

Portable - this word is very subjective cause different ppl interpret differently. manufacturers interpret it is as being able to be carried by soldiers regardless of weight and size. to soldiers, it means less than 20 kg and briefcase size. some equipment thou labeled "portable" weighs freaking more than 30kg and so huge that even thou you can carry but it's only for like 10metres. if that means portable, well then i got nothing to say...

the length that ppl will 'keng' and get themselves out of army or assigned to a lesser role will shock you too... we should give these fellas oscar awards for their acting. one classic example from my experience: a private who strenuously denies that he knows computer [dun know how to use, can't type etc] and his daily job is to be a cleaner, paper shredderer [a person who brings useless papers to be shred], buys breakfast for ppl, he can't even carry heavy stuff, will dislocate shoulder. guess what??? when he ord, he wore business attire, setup a PC company...

i wonder whether some medical officers are intelligent or plain stupid, from the type of excuse that they give to the serviceman, i believe it's the latter... eg like excuse from sunlight??? what the fuck! we got vampires enlisted in the army!

all the talk by the 2nd minister of def, a mr cedric i think, about no white horse in the army is all bullshit. those in the army will swear by it. the ministers and perm secs are on a different dimension while we from another... therefore, things we kanna and saw are different from them...

you'll be shock by some of the intelligence of our officers too... and their lack of balls... i think this is a culture of our younger generations that dun dare to take calculated risk or stand by their decisions so they dun dare to make decisions or commit them. they rather follow orders from the top without going thru the brain [safer option]. compared to five yrs ago, where ppl are more streetwise/gungho, refused to be bullied and fight for equality... now, if kanna shitted on, they'll say it's fated and they happens to be unlucky... where's the fighting spirit and what happens to the men below him?

army deducts pay very much faster than they reimburse you and i mean the difference of a few months. if the army realised that they pay you too much, they'll deduct from you immediately or from the incoming paycheck but if they owe you money, you can wait for a few months to for them to pay you. the moral of this para is - you can die but cover own asshole is more important!

Straits Times Man of the Yr 05 - T T Durai aka Mr NKF

Lost for words to describe what's happening... i DAMN JIN DU LAN...

it's so big in the news that if you've not heard about it in the papers, you are either a tourist or dead. mr tt durai with his 600k job as ceo of nkf and perks that put gahment jobs to shame and worse, he feels no fucking shame in lying about the figures and cheating the perks. god damn motherfucker...

look here man, saving lives doesn't make you a saint neither does it absolves you from any sin. yes, he work hard to make nkf to what it is now but that doesn't allow him to abuse the system. he's like the world com chief sentenced to jail for cheating, he too build up a company that used to worth millions or billions but he treat it like his private bank...so what you make it to what it is now, big fuck and can do no wrong issit??? and what is the god damn fucking board of directors doing??? i guess now they are all hiding behind his back and let him die. they too are to blame, if they reallly do their duty, we wouldn't have this big saga now. they too are in cahoots together with him, sharing the spoils together if not how can they allow such unimaginable bonus and numerous breaches from happening???

if you need a job that can give you 1 yr bonus despite SARS, gulf war II and oblivious to the singapore economy, join the nkf, they're economy proof and mothersuckers like us will help pay your salary...

i really pity the tcs stars, they cried, injured and plead like whores and gigolos for ppl to call in and after 2hrs of the show, after minus the admin cost, only enough to cover his pay and first class flights... the straits times should have an article on how to cancel their monthly subscriptions/giro... ppl say that we shouldn't do so as we should not let the patients suffer. i say, fuck off... you stupid fools, they have more money in their reserves to outlive your miserable life.

using ppls' hard earn money to pay for your god damn private mercedes maintenance... dun tell me you are using your fucking entitlement... if you are that upright, you would have corrected the board that nkf is spending public money... then again you greedy bastard, who would refuse if ppl give you money?

mr fucking robert yong, appeared in the papers saying nkf only have enough to last for 3 yrs. where are you now??? why dun you fucking show your CB face to tell the public you lied instead of hiding behind durai???

how incorrigible to tag the airfares to sia business class flights and use it to fly first class in other airlines? why dun you say you help nkf save the fucking money cause flying first class in other lines is cheaper than sia's business class?

i still cannot believe... 1 fucking yr of bonus?? actually, i'm okay with him earning 25k per month as chief. come on fellas, this guy needs to eat and the pay should correspond to the responsibilites but 1 yr bonus? tell me which freaking s'pore company pays that much to the chief even they earn billions of profits like singtel and sia??? mnc in singapore with billions of profits dun even pays freaking 1 yr bonus unless you're a chief who happens to work in US but they carry more responsibilities and the board might fire them anytime even they are the founder of the company.

fucker durai got his head too big and tot he can do no wrong. when he tot he's the saviour to many ppl, he can demands whatever he wants and irreplacable. i really hope you and your greedy board bastards go to jail for cheating public's money.

lastly, out of respect for our former PM, i shall refrain from using vulgaries to describe mrs peanuts. this mrs peanuts says that 600k is peanuts as nkf have huge reserves. huge reserves big fuck? can anyhow spent? like you got lots of money in your bank doesn't mean you can anyhow use. if that's the case, no matter how much we fucking donates per yr will not be enough feed the neverending greed. mrs peanuts is lucky that she's not an mp if not next election opposition sure win.

CANCEL YOUR DONATIONS TO NKF and give to others more in need

london bombing by idiotic pigs

hmmm, i've always wondered about the state of the bombers' mind... and the stupidity or rather the lack of intelligence...

i've always believe that if you dun like a country or society, well pack your bags and leave... go to a bloody place that fits your ideology... nobody force you to stay, you can go to any fuck place in the world but never ever shit in the place where you live. it's as good as biting the hand that feeds you. not only you screws up ppl's live, you screws up your parents', your breed/kind and future immigrants that really loves the place...

what??? you want the convenience of a modern society but not the common multi racial religions and integration??? you want tube trains, discos/pubs, running taps and electricity but when you're sick of it, you say the society is corrupted??? you like the teachings of the straight and incompromise religion but when ask you to go to other country you're unwilling cause of the living standards?? it suprises me that how the so called educated ppl makes such childish/stupid decisions...

men should be afraid of GOD but not the men who preaches

we're all human and inperfect, what makes preachers different? interpretation of gospels is very subjective for it's interpreted by men. sure, they may be very well learned aka scholars but to me they are similar to scientists in a certain way. when scientists published a report whether thru clinical trials or whatever, what they say is based on what they know and tried. for eg, for a period of time, they say margarine is good for the body until when a different research proves that it's not that true. so what happens? they say "oops, we're wrong". yup they are but we're fucked!!! for consuming margarine for yrs, what to do but you can't blame them. preachers too preached based on their understanding whether thru yrs of studies or what. if they say "oops", we're gonna be fucked big time...

i'm not saying you shouldn't believe in what they say but it should be taken with a pinch of salt. at least go thru the mind and think. preachers may say those who died in the name of GOD goes to heaven, it maybe true but did GOD say bombing fellows innocents??? preachers may say cause they support in the oppression of their fellow men. maybe they didn't read or saw the newspapers/ tv polls on how many ppl oppose the iraqi war etc... then they'll say too bad if they're caught in the collateral damages... everything is what the preachers say while using some quotes twisted from the holy books to reinforce their teachings and many idiots are scared to shit. it's like you're caught in a debate and the opponents who's better prepared managed to out talk you. that doesn't mean he's right and neither you're wrong.

the word about "fellow men"...
when they need you, you are their fellow men, blood brothers but when you're not, they dun give a fucking shit about you. it's like the teenage gangsters hanging around the neighbourhood... look how many will go to jail with you if you commit a crime together, they all can't wait to "tua" you to die man... take for example the indonesian tsunami, how many arab countries sent in their personnel on ground to help out in addition to donating money? where's the brotherhood they always proclaim???

my friend who went to saudi told me how slack the life is when they earn so much oil money doing so little... waited for six hours for a simple report. for a country when oil money flows too easily, how do you motivate ppl to work hard??? wonder how when all the oil runs out in all the producing countries, i think they'll start World War 3 cause they're most likely to blame the americans for finishing their oil not realising that black gold flows too easily before...

intelligence has it's limits but stupidity knows no bound - banedon chan

IOC broadcast screw up by CNA

Hmmm, was watching the live broadcast by CNA while in camp doing duty. Seems like the more i watch it, the more frustrated i become and here's why. the bloody presenter seems to speak more than she should and even when the view's on the president of IOC talking, she's still yakking away. what the hell, come on, i'm more interested on what he's got to say than you, you bloody idiot! Furthermore, when there's a guest in the studio, she seems too eager to answer her own questions posed to the guest like when halfway through the guest is answering her questions, she just cut in and add her own views... come on again, if you're so interested in answering your own questions, why invite the guest in the first place?

when the presenters are live on tv, i can actually feel that they are straining to come up with things to say so it results in them asking people silly questions eg. when paris lost the bid and the presenter is asking the chairwomen of the france's chamber of commence (i think something like that.) the guy doesn't seem to remember what he ask the woman or heard the answers in the first place cause he's straining to think of another thing to ask and when he did, he ask the same thing again even though it's phrase in the different way. i can see that the woman is stump cause she thought she answer that in the first place.

it was then when i was hoping to have cable so that i can watch it on other news channel like bbc or cnn. it goes to show that cna is able to do normal daily news broadcast but when it comes to crunch like live tv events, they just screw up...

thank god for cable/scv if not we're gonna be stuck with the mediocre stuffs that mediacorp produces.

travelling and cantonese food

i think the only thing that keeps me sane is the twice yearly overseas holiday that makes me forget all the hassles and bustle of life in singapore. living in singapore can be such a pressure cooker that we forgot how to relax. travelling really unwinds and release the pressure. for a moment, we have no work responsibilities, nothing to care about except what to eat, buy and see. ironically, if i travel for too long, i'll miss the pressure, the efficiency of life in singapore. i'll start to itch, i'll find something's missing, something's wrong and i'll complain like hell. i'll just can't wait to rush back home to rush with the general population again.

this year, i'll be travelling to hong kong to visit the soon-to-be-open disneyland and of course to eat and shop. i must confess that hk got not much to see like singapore but they have better cantonese food and dim sum. hah, can't wait... my family is crazy about dim sum. whenever my mom's not working on a weekend, we'll end up in Red Star Restaurant in chin swee rd. thou many ppl says that there're better dim sum served elsewhere, it'll been our restaurant to go since the legendary Mayflower Restaurant closed when i was very young. to me, Red Star has one of the best lotus bun and egg tart in the whole of singapore. anyway, my parents has this thing about push cart dim sum. my parents will detest going to a place without it. to them it's like shopping for food where it's all laid out like window shopping and you choose from there. even if the menu comes with pics, nothing beats push carts.

other than dim sum, my family is crazy about this roasted meat stall call Sally Roast Duck at seletar garden which is beside ST electronics in yio chu kang. guess what? it's manned by 3 sisters. initially, the stall is located at seletar market but when the place was torn down, they shifted to their current location. they have one of the best roasted meat in singapore. this i'm not bragging. the roasted meat comes with salted vege soup which is cooked together with the duck bones. you can even try out the fried bean curd which is damn nice. the elder sister is named sally who chops the meat like a seasoned pro. the second sister helps out and prepares the rice etc. the third sister's usually not there. the stall opens from 11am to 3pm only and if you go there at around 1415, the roasted duck's and barbecue chicken wing's gone, left with some char siew and shao rou. the meat's gone so fast that during lunch time, i guess that if anybody's ordering a whole duck, ppl in the queue will curse you in their heart so the best is to be there at 11am - 12pm to beat the lunch time crowd. believe me, you should try it out.

wah, there's so much good food to intro... hmmm, guess i'll carry on in my next blog

It's getting boring to live

remember that when we were young, there's so much things to do and the only thing that stops us is the lack of cash... now that i've grown up and gainfully employed, i realised that thou i can indulge in many stuffs but guess what? i'm looking for things to do. it's getting boring living only to work and sleep or during weekends, go out with galfren to shop, watch movies etc... what else can i do? play pc or console games? read books? looking for good food? ktvs, play pool... arrggg... i'm not wasting my life away doing all this cause when i'm old, i'm not gonna tell myself that i've completed so many games, sang many songs or finished so many books... hmmm, looking for something significant. right now, other than waiting for the monthly paycheck or doing the above mentioned stuff to past time, there must be other things to do...

( 3 hrs later... )
after reviewing my current lifestyle... i decided write out a list to things to do for this year starting with learning jap language then later maybe french. i should better spent my time than wasting it away. One mustn't stop learning as when you think there's nothing more to learn or nothing that surprise you in life then life will be meaningless. Sometimes, i feel that having a shag out weekdays seems to make life and weekend more meaningful/precious. having too much time on hand only makes me think too much about nothing...like now.

the aftermath - part II

the thing is, why is the title 'the aftermath - part II' ? where is part I then? well here it goes, i was typing part I 2 wks after good friday. when i finish the blog and publish it, guess what??? the freaking website hanged... despite my numerous refreshes, still no use. so the freaking hour that i spent typing the blog was gone in 60 seconds. god damn it...

now i've lost the feeling and the surge of emotion. it was suppose to be a summary of events that happens after the funeral but i guess i'll try...

during the 3 days at the singapore casket, my sis was maintaining a very strong front when everybody seems to pity or sympathise her. not once did i saw her tear, such was the faith she had in god. i was quite pissed with frankie's brothers for complaining and not contributing to the funeral. i mean, even entertaining the guests was done by the church friends who basically help my sis managed the whole affair from booking and paying the downpayment of the room to the arrangments of rites and booking of a place at mandai. even before that, the encouragement and numerous visits to the hospital by them to cheer frankie up showed their sincerity thru actions. the brothers says they have to work, well, seems like they are the only ones working. what matters is the sincerity, if a person's not, they'll come up with lots of excuses isn't it?

every night after the last visitor at around 12 midnight, we'll close the room as nobody is watching over the coffin. what pisses me off is that as my sis have to watch over the two young kids, nobody else is staying overnight. i mean, as brothers, is work or sleep so important??? more important than the death of the own brother? if my sis have a choice, she would have stayed thru the night if not for the kids.

anyway, on the third day which is good friday, we left for mandai crematorium. as the place is new i think, it's quite impressive. even the crematory is fully automated. after we performed the last rites, we watched as the coffin is automatically reeled in to be cremated. as this moment, we can't help but cry our hearts out. it's like the dam broke and water just gush out...

we were then lead out to the ' cool down atrium' where we tried to gain back our composure. just then, reality sets in and we know that he's gone...

after the reservoir's dried up and we then proceed to northpoint to have lunch at sakura. it's time to get our life back together again...

Death of a relative

my brother in law passed away yesterday afternoon. the news came as a shock when my mom called to inform me at night. thou we know that the chances of surviving the cancer is quite slim but the doc says that he still got 6 months.

it all began during last yr when he had abdominal pains. it got to the state when he needs painkillers to pull through the days. there are times when he had diarrhea throughout the night but he still muster up strength to carry on working the next day.

he was still fine when i saw him during the chinese new year when we had our reunion dinner together on the eve. still remember that night where my dad plays a few rounds of mahjong togerther. during a wkend at my place, we were discussing about his abdominal pains and we suggested that he go for a check up. he did a xray on his chest at i think is SATA at jurong but the doctor gives him a clean bill of health. he then proceed to NUH for a endoscopy and a liver scan, he was then told to wait for 2 wks for his scan. we're aghast that thou he's physically in pain, he still got to wait 2 wks. what the fuck is wrong with them? luckily, my sis's churchmate's bro's a dept head at TTSH so he managed to ward my bro-in-law. they found a lump outside his liver but do not know the source of the cancer so more test have to be done. he was told to rest for a wk and during the school holidays, my daddy brought them to bukup, malaysia. somehow, i had a premonition that this will be the last outing that they gonna enjoy as a family together. on the 3rd night, he developed extreme pain and was rushed back to s'pore. the churchmates waited at woodlands checkpoint to sent him to TTSH. Later, he was dignosed with lung cancer that had spread to the liver.

We visited him last friday, he was tired and the senses were numbed due to the morphine to curb the pain. i still remember getting him a cuppacino from polar cafe. i know he's strong mentally cause he got two young kids to live for. deep down, i wondered, how does he takes it, for a person that works hard to provide for the family, this must be a shock to him. why him? why not the freaking unemployed fat elder brother who din even visited him saying that he's busy working. how to busy can you be when you're a security guard? that fucker only visited his mom on the night before she died after numerous persuasion by his siblings. how ungrateful and unfilial can a person be? god damn you.

my sis throughout the ordeal, have remained strong. for the kids and thru faith in God. whenever she's worried or feeling sad, she reads the bible for strength and may this strength carries her through this period of uncertainy and may god bless the kids.


Frankie, we miss you and God will take care of you in heavens above. don't worry about the kids, ah mun will do a good job and we'll ensure they're provided for.

Busy?

hmmm, haven't been writing new blogs recently, quite busy nowadays. Is it just an excuse for my poor time management or in denial that i'm lazy. i have lots of thing to say and complain but since it's quite late now and i got to wake up early later this morning. guess i'll leave it for another day. yah i know, excuses and more excuses.

but the fact is that i'm currently on standby in camp for my saturday duty so got to be fresh next morning. arrg, i can't wait to be home and do nothing...

Life's Story

I've once told a fren that life is like a open ended book and we're the author. How we want the ending to be depends on how we live our life. I do not want it to be a tradegy or a book of regrets. I guess like everyone else, I want it to end with a happy ending. Along the way, I'll meet with lots of problems and difficulties but i think this is what makes a story book interesting isn't it? And so I present the story of banedon chanwk, proudly written by me.