the end of holidays

later in the morning, i'll be up to go to work but i can't get to sleep. cause when i wake up, it'll be the end of the holidays and my schedule is damn pack for the whole of january with classes to attend after work and it'll be from morning 8 to 9pm daily till end of jan. seems that i'm unwilling to let go of the holidays. it have been a very slack holidays but it does gave me ample time to reflect on my life, actions and my previous year.

i've put on weight, well to be exact fats... i managed to keep my weight constant but my six pack's gone and it's replaced by a spare tyre. hmmm, it's time to embark on a exercise regime to get back in shape. last year was a slack year in terms of keeping fit. din run as much as my mind wants and drank too much coffee which results in bloated stomach and indigestion. with lots of fellas dropping dead, i got to keep my diet in check.

reality hits and i realised that i'm gonna be a year older. seems like the older you grow, the more responsibilities there are to shoulder. got to juggle the needs of family, work, galfren and myself. got to plan more in detail for my future and how much to save to meet the needs. sometimes, the burden as the only son really shows and i can't really disappoint my parents. i've always wonder why other ppl can be so worry-free while i got to think of so many solutions for lots of ppl. for example, when i was holidaying with my parents, sis and her two kids and my galfren, i ended up planning the whole trip (with inputs from my galfren), taking care of the accomodation, airticks and transportation. when i was in hongkong, i ended up being the tour guide even thou it's my first time there. nobody wants the responsibilities but wants to enjoy. my galfren ain't helping much as she complains about the schedule, timing etc. i was like, look, i paid for the whole freaking trip, ensure everything is taken care of, becomes the tour guide and i din even get to enjoy myself, at times i even becomes the nanny for the two kids. what the fuck??? and here you are complaining??? on the 3rd day, i told her off and said, look, why dun we change role for a day and i'll ask you what to do, where to go, what to take? after flipping the maps and looking at the our pre-planned itinerary, what she say? she's not familiar and dun know what's our preference. i scolded her saying that it's not as easy as it seems trying to satisfy everybody's needs and i'm not familiar too but somebody got to do the job. if you ain't got solution, dun complain. ppl always like to add in five cents and got no solutions, ended up giving more problems.

the other day, my gal ask me about my future plans after she had a chat wif my mom. she said i should start planning how to take care of them and support them. i told her not to worry as i had in mind what to do. she then started to tell me that it's not easy as i got to consider this and that. i asked her when did she start thinking about the future? she told me it was after the chat wif my mom. i told her that i already know what to do 4 yrs ago. come on, there have to be contigency planning. nobody can guarantee that they won't die that soon. and if i do go that early, what happens to my parents? is my insurance and cpf enough to cover for their retirement. it's easy to die but the shit left behind, who's gonna clear for you? sometimes, ppl take things so easily thinking that nothing will go wrong. well, they can afford to but i can't. i got to think of how to ensure that my parents sustain their living after they have retire etc. other ppl dun have to or they dun care but that's their problem.

that's why i get frustrated sometimes as ppl always wants me to think of solutions or do for them. is ppl getting fucking stupid or are they plain lazy? i've met ppl in my work that telling them the solution is not enough, you have to bring them there, show them how to do it. if that's the case, i might as well do for you and you go fuck off. where's the initiative to think for oneself? the worst kind is the type where if the thing can't work, they just stop there waiting to be rescued. they dun even borther to ask for solution until you ask them how's it going. come on ppl, get a life!!!

i really for once wants to be like them, asking ppl for solutions without thinking through what to do. it's great in a way, lesser responsibilities, lesser headache too, anything goes wrong just push the blame as i'm not the one who came out with the solutions. isn't that great?

it's really tiring having the can-do spirit facing so many can't do or won't do ppl...

let's hope and pray that i dun meet ppl like these for 2006 and if best, never ever.

for those who read this post and think i'm having problems wif my relationship wif my gal, dun think, we're fine and we both love each other very much. thank you.