Murphy's day

The day started all right and once i reached the hq for a briefing, it all went down from there...

the meeting ended quite early. by one o'clock in the afternoon, we were done. my colleague and i stayed to tidy up some work and then we were told to wait for a new laptop to be handed to us within an hour for our work . It was 240pm.

340pm. still no news

4pm. we checked with the tech guy and he said he'll hastenen things up

430pm. still not done.

445pm. my colleague needs to rush to other place to get some software and we split up. we'll meet back again to settle some work

5pm. Finally, it was ready.

515pm. i left the office. it took a freaking two and a half fucking hours to get the fucking laptop.
i called my colleague, he's having problems with the installation of the program. as the disk is not available they tried to copy the program with all the links but couldn't find the driver.

545pm. he said he'll try to finish by 630pm. i waited as all my belongings is in his car.

615pm. timing pushed to 7pm.

650pm. he's leaving the office. said will arrived by 715pm. i've been waiting for him for a fucking one and a half hours.

720pm. finally arrived. registration for the annual JLPT ends at 8pm and i dun have photos.

730pm. finally left the place heading for town.

755pm. reached toa payoh. searched for photo kiosk but was told even "instant" photo have to wait 20mins. wat the fuck!!!

810pm. found a photo booth in the mrt station, got the pics and headed for the train station. there's no cab and the expressway's jam.

815pm. waited 5mins for the fucking train. called JCSS but told that registration was closed

835pm. reach bugis. it started to drizzle. Wat the fuck of all times, it starts to drizzle now.

840pm. tried my luck at the counter. though they were still open but the lady refused to entertain me by saying that all the money for the exam registrations was accounted for and the accounts was closed. AND I GOT TO FUCKING WAIT FOR ANOTHER YEAR TO TAKE MY FUCKING TEST.

850pm. left the place and it was raining heavily. wat else can go wrong?

i know they can refuse me but come on, this is a fucking yearly test. can't they just fucking add $20 into the fucking account? i don't blame them, just got to blame myself for not meeting the deadline. it's okay if something's bad really happen but the thing is, i've been spending my WHOLE FUCKING AFTERNOON WAITING, A FUCKING 5 HOURS WASTED DOING FUCKING NOTHING. works pile up in the office, deadlines to meet and time, wasted.

there are somethings on hind sight could have managed better. and just this once, i fail myself. i'm so damn angry. about everything, my colleague, the tech guy etc etc. feel like bursting out shouting and screaming at them. i just hate it when things are not within my control and feel so helpless when things go wrong. it's alright if i fail the exams but at least i tried. but not managed to take part in it is a sin that i can't forgive myself.

the only saving grace is that i do not need a pass in this exam to enroll in the higher level examinations as you choose the level you're comfortable wif but it really left a sour taste in my mouth.

this failure really shaken and awaken my senses. for far too long, i've been lackadasical about my goals and objectives. always half hearted when doing things. even i go all out is only for awhile. i lack the concentration to focus through out the whole objective like a car running on nitro, fast but burn out even faster.

maybe it's timely that this thing happens. it tells me that "hey, take a pause, realigned and take stock of your goals." and i definately do so.

like a guard dog that once chews on a robber, will not let go, i will relentlessly pursue my goals and objectives. the rest can wait... it's time to be self centred and focus more.

God bless me and give me the strength to achieve the goals that i've set.

Up to You [kanji] by Luna Sea

ha, i managed to type out in 漢字the lyrics of my favourite song.

well, if you need the translation, you can find it in my earlier sad post.

in the meantime, do enjoy as much as i do

 

強く感じて　強く抱きしめて

これから始まる　時を

胸に抱いて　夢に描いて

始まりの鐘が　鳴るよ

 

歩き続けた　探し続けた

やっと見つけた　終わりはないけど

 

君は出来るはず　真実を求めて

 

いつもの様に　語り明かそう

星空の下で　そばに居るから

 

遠く飛べるはず　自由を求めたなら

高く飛べるはず　迷っても

 

この瞳に映る　あなたの姿

輝く為に　ずっと

 

強く感じて　強く抱きしめて

これから始まる　時を

胸に抱いて　夢に描いて

始まりの鐘が　鳴るよ

 

強く感じて　強く抱きしめて

吹き荒れる　風の中で

胸に抱いた　夢が叶うまで

いつまでも変わらない　この愛を

 

夢を見続けて

走り続けて

夢を見続けて

終わりはないから

雨に打たれても

ゆめが滲んでも

明日を信じて

この手は離さない